Bonfire and breakups

February 2003

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went and I wish I could say they were very eventful.  I was able to drive back to Arizona for thanksgiving at my sisters. Shelly actually joined me and we spent the way there with her complaining about Gavin, and the way back with her gushing about how much she missed him. 

It's going on three months and they are still no where near defining their relationship.  He is growing on me more however, he still makes conceited comments but I do also see how Shelly lights up around him. Unless she's in 'hate Gavin' mode, in which she, well you guessed it, hates Gavin. 

I have seen Cal a couple of times since our split. The first was at a party at a house near campus. We stayed close that night and after a few drinks we ended up in a surprisingly empty room.

  "I've missed you Juliette," Cal had moved closer to me and was rubbing my bare knee. I mentally thanked God I shaved and wore a mini skirt. The weather here is cooler at night but I was used to the winters in Colorado, so when I knew Cal would be here tonight I ditched the jeans and opted for short. 

"I've missed you too," I went to say more but he cut me off with his mouth. He felt so familiar and still made my stomach fluter. We started off slow and quickly started pawing at each other like we'd waiting months for this, oh wait we have. 

"We don't have to be together to..be together," he said this as his lips brushed against my neck. I got goosebumps immediately and I'm not sure if it was what he said or my reaction to his touch.

"Wait, you miss me, but you still don't want to be together do you?" I knew I was being naive I knew whatever was going to happen tonight wasn't going to erase the past couple of months. But I guess when our lips touched I just forgot. I was now fully aware and less buzzed then ten minutes ago. I looked into his eyes and he didn't have to answer. 

The second time I saw him was when I gave Shelly a ride to Gavin's practice. I was nervous it would be awkward but Cal ran up to us and gave me a hug and chatted with us before heading back. Since then I've seen him again twice and each time was easier. 

Alicia and Dean ended things in December,  she had agreed to meet his family however the night before she panicked. Her anxiousness came off as rude and they started fighting.  She freaked and told him it was over. He still lives in our complex and has done very well with cat like skills and we rarely see him around. Alicia has been a a wreck though she would never admit it. I lost count of how many dates she's been on, I know in her own way she's trying to drown her feelings for Dean.

Speaking of dates I have had a couple since Cal, none of which amounted to anything. One guy I met at a work event, he was working for another agent. Jim, he was the prettiest boy I've ever met, he had dark brown shoulder length hair and olive complexion. His lips were something most girls would envy and along with his muscular build I wondered if he ever modeled. Your probably wondering what went wrong, he was a little too health conscience.  Nothing wrong with that and at first I was enjoying some of his fitness stories but after he made a comment about my drink being high in sugar and then proceeded to order for me (steamed vegetables and brown rice) I was over it. He did ask me out again, he asked me to PAY and sign up for his boot camp class on the beach.  The other date I went on was better but we had zero chemistry.

Today Alicia, Shelly and I were going to a bonfire that Jacob invited me too. Shelly moved off our couch in December and into a studio not far from us,  she was going to meet us here.

"So Jacob invited you?" Alicia bumped me with her shoulder and smiled playfully.  We were applying our makeup in the bathroom mirror.

"Yes Alie, but remember he has a girlfriend and they've been together way to long to try and get in the middle of that." I put on my sweater and inspected my reflection again before heading to the living room to wait.

"Well don't rule him out but I'm sure there will be plenty of other guys there to keep you distracted. In fact that's all I'm looking forward to, maybe I'll get lucky." Alicia said following me into the living room. We both heard a door shut and she ran to the window peeking through the curtain. She did this everytime she heard something outside, she even ran to the window when no sound was made, swearing she heard something.

"Alie, he's never brought a girl to his place, stop stocking him and just tell him you're lost without him,  you need him, he completes you and so on." I said this with a smile but she shot me a dirty look and I shut up. Luckily Shelly was here and we left for the beach before she had a meltdown over what Dean was up to.

It was cool tonight so we hurried to stand in front of the fire and warm up. I was warming my hands when I looked up and through the flickering flames I spotted Jacob. He was laughing at something the guy next to him said. He had a great smile and such a sexy jawline.  It might just be me but I usually can judge how handsome a guy will age by his jawline. If it's strong and defined I feel like he will look even sexier at 50.  He looked around and I swear he's eyes twinkled when he met mine, yeah there was a fire reflecting in them but I'm sticking with it.  He started walking towards me and my chest started beating faster. We've always been friends and even though I was attracted to him I was surprised by my bodies reaction to him.

"I'm so glad you could come,  I've got to say we don't see enough of each other with you living so close." He pulled me into a hug, being a foot taller I came up to his chest and took in his smell, campfire and cologne, it was intoxicating.

"That's true, besides you still need to teach me to surf. " I smiled up at him.

"The water is freezing, but I could get you a wetsuit to wear, I'm afraid of scaring you off though with the water temp so maybe let's give it a couple months." He put up his hand and said one sec and hurried off.

He walked toward a group of girls, great I thought, he was probably getting his girlfriend to introduce us. I shouldn't be upset, he's off limits. I don't think I was ready for this though.  Instead of talking to any of the girls though he stopped at the cooler next to them and grabbed two beers and walked back. I stopped biting my cheek and couldn't help but smile when he returned handing me my drink. I may have been relieved but I knew I should probably get it over with so I blurted out asking where his girlfriend was.

He looked puzzled before he smiled and answered.

"I guess I never told you, we broke up around Thanksgiving."

Nope, I think I would have remembered that.